Intregrity

9-1-09

This past summer my sister posed a question to me that I had never heard before. She said "Doesn't it suck to have integrity?" She asked me this because I was one of two teachers from my school to attend a leadership retreat which was supposed to include the entire leadership team from our faculty. Now I do not know the reasons for which the rest of the team didn't come. Perhaps it was because there was poor communication, or there were other county obligations, or maybe it was just because they didn't want to go. So despite the fact that I am a music teacher I went to the leadership conference to discuss things like reading and writing and to analyze the data from the CRCT.

I ask myself this question from time to time nowadays, "Doesn't it suck to have integrity?" I ask it when I arrive at my job on time fulfilling tasks that are really not my burden to bear and I see others strolling in 15-20 minutes late. I ask it when I am required to teach out of field and others, who are also required, are not actually doing it. I ask it when I am diligently on time to choir practice and others are not. I ask it when I take the shopping cart all the way back to the stall instead of leaving it right next to my car. I ask it when I underestimate the cost of a repair but don't charge customers more because that's not what I told them. I ask it when someone treats me like garbage and I turn the other cheek and do not respond in kind. Doesn't it suck to have integrity?

My answer is no, it doesn't. One of my favorite movies is "Sense and Sensibility". The main character is Eleanor Dashwood. She is madly in love with Edward Farris, who is secretly betrothed to a wicked young lady, Lucy Steele. Eleanor is sworn to secrecy by the evil Lucy not to tell of the engagement. So despite the fact that she is absolutely torn to shreds inside, she remains silent about the engagement and keeps her word to Lucy. Meanwhile Eleanor's sister, Maryanne has love troubles of her own. The man she loved, Willoughby, got another woman pregnant, lost his inheritance, and had to marry a rich woman lest he be a pauper the rest of his life. Maryanne almost dies over the drama. Who knows what was wrong with her, a broken heart? Regardless, in the end Maryanne lets go of the past and her whirlwind romance with Willoughby. In a conversation with Eleanor she suggests that it is her fault that everything went wrong with Willoughby. Eleanor says, "Do you compare your behavior with that of Willoughby?" and Maryanne says, "No. I compare it with what it ought to have been. I compare it to yours." That is my favorite line. Eleanor has such integrity and adherence to moral values that she is looked up to by her sister.

It is important to be a person of integrity. Someone has to uphold the moral laws of society or else we would live in anarchy. I cannot pretend that sometimes it ruffles my feathers that I am the one doing the right thing when others are clearly living an easier life by taking the easy way out. It does tan my hide sometimes. But somewhere out there I hope that there is a Maryanne watching me and being inspired to do the right thing too.

I am not writing this blog today to lift myself up. I am far from perfect. I am sure there are times I wish no one was watching me. I embarrass myself even. But I am writing to let you know that I am trying and I hope that you are too.

Have a blessed evening and thanks for reading my 10th blog.

PS-SPOILER!!! Eleanor and Edward end up together in the end and live happily ever after.